


a throne of lies

by azureforest



Series: i can still remember your laughter. [2]
Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Rekka no Ken
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-27
Updated: 2016-04-27
Packaged: 2018-06-04 20:40:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6674746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/azureforest/pseuds/azureforest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>he's sitting upon a throne of lies in a tower of deceit, and he's crumbling under the pressure.</p>
            </blockquote>





	a throne of lies

While Kent insists his memory is hazy, Sain is the opposite- It was crisp and crystal clear as if it had just happened moments ago, and while many would have celebrated that, Sain wanted nothing more than to forget, forget the red, the cold hands, the red, the fading orange, the _r e d_ –

 _No. Now isn’t the time to lose yourself, not in the middle of class_ , he mumbles to himself through barely-moving lips, bringing his hand up to bite at a too-short thumbnail, looking down at the empty sheet of paper in front of him, but not really. 

Looking back, though, he’s been sitting on his tower of lies for so long now, he can’t let it topple down with him on it, keep letting Kent believe his soulmate is Lyn, keep letting him, because it all still lines up (for now,) because they’ve known eachother since they were kids and the brunet not nearly as long, but long, nonetheless-

But, he guessed, the truth would come out eventually, but he dreaded the day, dreaded the lies and that he’s messed it up completely and he’s afraid, so so _scared out of his wits_ that he’s dug himself into this pit _much_ too deep for _much_ too long to crawl back out, at least, not without dragging some sort of zombie ready to eat his brain back out with him.

Because honestly, what soulmate hides the fact that they’re their soulmate from someone who’s literally their closest friend for as long as they’ve known? What soulmate hides that kind of stuff from the other soulmate who they’ve probably come to love and cherish over all else? _Why?_

Answer A: because they’re a dick. and stupid.

Answer B: because they’re not sure if it’ll work out.

Answer C: because the memory was literally of their soulmate dying.

If Sain’s blank notes were a piece of paper with those three options right now, he’d resist the urge to tick answer C and rip the paper apart, because honestly, at this point, all three of those might apply to him. And he didn’t like that thought, not one bit.

But it wasn’t completely his fault, right? It couldn’t be, right? The fates and whatever gods were out there were cruel enough to give- To give _that_ kind of memory to him, throwing his world off-kilter whenever he even thinks of the possibility of that past life reliving itself and him having to go through all that again, watch the blood dribble out of Kent’s mouth, watch orange eyes stare past him, feel him slacken in his arms, _dead_ –

No. Shit. He was just weak. It was his fault. But he couldn’t be the only person with a memory like this, right? He could have dealt with this so much better, he could have just done literally anything other than what he’s done already, done literally anything other than lounge on a throne of deceit of which the legs were slowly being sawed at.

But those were could haves and should haves that he didn’t actually do, and he couldn’t change that now. Sain sighs, wondering if some kid in college should be thinking about this kind of utter bullshit this hard, staring at the back of Kent’s head as the other hunches over his notes, periodically looking up to the professor to make sure he isn’t missing too much of what’s on the board. The redhead seems to feel his eyes boring into the back of his skull, then turns around, an eyebrow raised in a mixture of curiosity and annoyance. _What is it?_ he appeared to say, with that expression alone. Maybe the eyebrow code they made up when they were ten was working.

For a split second, Sain actually considered jumping up from his chair and crying and sobbing and spilling the beans, opening the goddamned can of worms and shaking them all over Kent’s head, but that was, as usual, one of Sain’s patented Bad Ideas™, and he probably should keep bottling it up for use as a motolov cocktail later. Probably aimed at his own head. Forcing a smile that felt faker than it looked, the brunet waved off the other.  _It’s nothing._

Knowing him, Kent was probably going to pick up on Sain’s bullshit- The downsides of childhood friends, he guessed. The brunet winced on the inside, just a little.

And predictably, Kent, though unconvinced, frowns, lets it slide, and turns back to face the front. Sain nearly let his own head thunk against his desk and vaguely felt like crying. This really sucked.

God damn it.

**Author's Note:**

> oKAY so i can explain
> 
> i actually thought of this after i already write the first chapter of laugh with me laugh for me but at that point the fic had already been posted for weeks but i really wanted to write this but i didnt know where i could possibly implement it so here it is?? it is quick and unbetad but fulfills its purpose, haha,,
> 
> i might actually delete this one later if i figure out how to work this into the main piece hahaa,,,


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